Guess what? Fifty Shades made whatsername millions. So here we are in 2013, and following last year’s financial success of the novel / blog with a substantial following, agents are predictably digging themselves an even bigger mountain of boy wizardry and consensual indifference.

Here’s one agent demanding that writers have “an engagement with and following on social media such as Twitter.” So much for writing credits, get a load of my wow amazing baby names lol.

The dreary insight into suburban life behind the net curtains that is Fifty Shades, highlights just how unfashionable it will be to have any online presence in future. Remember how Angela Rippon killed scooters when her prim upright pose was mercilessly parodied by comedians.

• Choose the path of most resistance.
• Get noticed for not getting noticed.
• Avoid the stampede.

Social networking is like self-publishing. Anyone can do it, and on a positive note, it is turning people into chatterers.