Men across the country are growing accustomed to life without Sky Sports News. The money men booted it off sensible shoes Freeview to teetering hi-def wide-angle. Less White Van Man, more Smythson Super Sunday. So here’s a quick ode.

Ode to Sky Sports News

So long Geoff Stelling

So unnaturally brown

You look craggy in Hi-def

And orange on Countdown

So long Georgie, Millie

No longer Freeview

The cricket scores were cool

Out for, “One B W!”.

Ford, Stella, the Churchill dog

I’ll miss your plaintive cries

Now the only people watching

Will be Sir Alex  and er …. um …Ah well, you get the idea.

Have I seen some colloquial slang used in official mail recently! BT’s instructions for the delivery of the Broadband hub had pages of perfection apart from an inept PS, “If on the day the delivery men are getting behind then it might be held over till next day.” Getting behind? The Labour Party sent an email saying that the Direct Debit reference will change due to sun spots or something. Perfect explanation apart from, “This has been done because…” Been and gone and done? Still The Labour Party are famous for it. They may never get elected again not cos of what they said but the way they said it. Finally, every day my PC has the annoying, “Automatic updates is switched off.” And that’s written by a Californian.

PS Sir Alex and his spies!